Pat Reilly on 2020

In 2020, Pat Reilly spent a lot of time at home and alone. With time and isolation came the space to reflect thoughtfully on his path as a creative, but also posed deeply challenging struggles with mental health. Through the power of persona and by leaning on a strong creative relationship with a housemate, those challenges gave way to creative insight and growth.

What was your creative process like writing this EP during quarantine and self-isolation? How was that different from your usual creative process?

I made Prince of the Night with my housemate, so this entire album was created in the confines of our home. Since we were in quarantine and not allowed to leave, the people I normally work with couldn’t work in person which was hard for me. I feel most creative in the room so I approached my housemate, who produces rock-and-roll EDM, and I said, "Let's try to make something new and fresh between us two." He was up for the challenge, and I think we created something dark-pop adjacent. It was a very cool and relaxing experience.

You shared on Instagram that this EP was inspired by a wide array of femme superheroes. Can you speak more to that inspiration?

I was going through major anxiety during this lockdown. Intellectually I would be fine, and then all the sudden this panic attack would wave through my body and my heart would be palpitating. I knew I clearly was purging something - my old way of being, I believe. I knew I had to purge these feelings creatively, but I needed some inspiration to get through that process, so I took on a persona. Because this EP was a departure from what I normally do, I needed some grounding in this bigger, darker, louder, sonic field I was entering with [my housemate] Ryan. I went back to when I was in elementary school and my brother had every comic known to man, and I'd read up on my girls - Mystique, Jean Gray, Rogue, Storm. They were the epitome of cool to this little gay boy back then. They were hot, and extremely powerful. They took no fucks, and I always dreamed about the day I'd be powerful enough to channel my feelings toward the world into something magical and life saving. That's what this creative process felt like, like I was saving myself from me.

How has this year challenged you as an artist? Are there any habits or rituals you developed this year that you want to take with you into the next year?

I've always been an artist who is looking to be more at the top of his creativity - contributing more than just singing or acting in something, and this year really taught me to take charge. I've produced two major projects this year that I'm proud of, including Prince of the Night. I just wrapped shooting my first short film that I wrote, Vinny the Cosmic Queen, which is a trippy dystopian view on being an influencer and the pain he experiences when his life becomes too exposed for his own good. When COVID slapped us all in the face, I felt like I woke up and saw what I could do with my life. So I took charge and started acting like the artist I want to be: making mistakes and taking risks, but producing my own work. This time told me to undoubtedly trust my intuition and my ideas. Going forward I want to bring that into the studio. I want to listen more than I critique. Follow the creatrix rather than the critic. This period in history taught me that you can't be in creativity and judgement at the same time.

Are there any ways in which you've surprised yourself this year? Are there parts of yourself as a creative and artist that have surfaced differently than they have before?

To be honest, after making this EP and purging the parts of me that felt evil, I'm actually seeing an improvement in my mental health. I'm genuinely surprised because, I think I'm not alone in thinking that sometimes negative emotional states feel like they'll be there forever, and now I think I'm starting to really love myself? A crazy concept but a good one, and I'm ready to show that in my music.

Follow Pat on Instagram, and listen to his music on Spotify.